How Not to Use Studio Strobes

It’s obvious that some overseas companies rely on (bad) software that literally translates every word from their language into the closest English word, but, of course, completely out of context. It’s a good thing that this particular product I purchased online was simple enough that I didn’t need instructions, because three years later I’m still trying to decrypt the piece of paper that came with it.
It’s actually quite amusing to read, and it amazes me that they wrote so much about how to use a simple, slave-only strobe that screws into a light bulb socket. Here are some snippets, and my interpretations:

“Thank you to choose the series electronics to dodge the lamp, it is that the ideal light source taken a photograph is dodged in the various rooms that this series electronics dodges the lamp.”
INTERPRETATION: Not sure why you’d want to dodge the lamp, but they’re deeply grateful that I purchased it.

“It still possesses advanced the gleaming remote sensing device, can receive the pulse and gleams at the distant range place, thus synchronously gleaming with the signal voluntarily, the lamp colour temperature ideal is dodged to this series, and it is big to shine the angle, and ability and various soft light umbrellas and reflection of light umbrella cooperate to use in the reality is applied, but effect is better.”
INTERPRETATION: OK, so apart from being a hellishly long sentence, I get the idea that it gleams (handy for a strobe light), remotely triggers without a struggle, has a dodged (aha – matched maybe?!!) colour temperature (to what, we’re not sure) and gleams nicely (in reality) with a bounce umbrella, or not.

“The item is paid attention to:
1. Long-term whens disuse, the dump, and at a distance from one period to the electronics dodges the lamp to be charged to try to dodge several times, and can lengthen the electronics dodging life span. Leave, and is not affected with damp to be heated.”
INTERPRETATION: Methinks it can hold its charge for a long time after it’s unplugged, and is ready to be fired (oh-oh, is that what dodged means?) when screwed back into the socket. And, whatever you do, remember never to heat the damp.

It continues:
“2. Not dismantling the electronics, if the sick requests (company name withheld) repair section or this company to be engaged by special arrangement the maintenance ministry and repairs at will.”
INTERPRETATION: They have a Maintenance Ministry in their country, so if you try to take apart your sick (strobe), a school bus will pull up to your door and several heavily armed Ministry auditors, accountants and actuarials will kick your door down and throw you to the floor.

If there are any overseas manufacturers reading this, I would like them to know that in addition to being a wonderful stock and fine art photographer, I’m also a technical writer and a very good proofreader. So, please get in touch at my other web site: www.taskpartner.ca